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1)  Free yourself from “shoulds” – Live your life on the basis of what is possible for you and what feels right to you instead of what you or others think you “should” do.  “Shoulds” distract you from identifying and fulfilling our own needs, abilities, interests and personal goals.  Find out what you want and what you are good at then take action designed to fulfill your potential.

2) Respect your own needs – Recognize and take care of your own needs and wants first. Identify what really fulfills you. I am not talking about immediate gratifications or what “feels good” in the moment either. Of course it may feel good to sit around all day, over-eat and watch TV. But it will not help your long-term objectives in the least bit. Respecting your deeper needs and disciplining yourself to avoid immediate gratification will increase your sense of worth and well-being.

3) Set achievable goals – Establish goals on the basis of what you can realistically achieve, and then work step-by-step to achieve those goals. To strive always for perfection will only increase stress.

4) Talk to yourself positively -  Stop listening to your “cruel inner critic.” When you notice that you are doubting or judging yourself, replace such thoughts with self-accepting thoughts. Use what is called a “pattern interrupt.” When you catch yourself dwelling on the negative or being too harsh on yourself, immediately say (in your mind) “stop.” Then, replace the negative thought and dialog with positive thought and dialog.

5)  Test your reality - Separate your emotional reactions, your fears and bad feelings, from the reality of your current situation.  Most problems are relative.  Remember what Socrates said:  “If we all put our troubles in a pile of each of us must take our fair share we’d be content to keep our own.”

These 5 easy steps for long term success have been brought to you by the Sunshine Coast Karate Team.

Other short articles you may also enjoy:

8 Ways Your Child Can Defeat The Bully Without Violence

Set And Achieve Poweful Goals At Sunshine Coast Karate

Self Discipline For Kids

Bullying has always been a part of growing up. But how a child deals with it and the repercussions of dealing with bullying have changed dramatically.

Incidences of bullying vary in severity. One thing that’s certain is repeated attacks whether verbal, physical, written, or on the internet erode your child’s fragile self-esteem. The CDC linked bullying to isolation, drug use, violence, and suicide! But your child does not have to be a victim. Follow these tips…

1.   Use The Secret Word to Stop Bullying Before it Starts
The assault can be verbal or physical, either way the first line of defense remains the same. It’s one word… Confidence! Here’s why; Bullies choose their victims much like a criminal would choose a victim. They go for the easy and obvious target. So if your child looks like a kid who will get bullied, guess what, they’re going to get bullied. On the other hand if your child radiates self-confidence they are less likely to be a victim, it’s almost that simple!

2.  Body Language is Key
Your child needs to walk with their head up; their shoulders square, and make eye contact with people. Just doing so, even if your child needs work on their self-esteem, will keep bullies away from them. This is easier said than done, but it can be learned. So having them change their body language (what they are saying non-verbally) will have a huge impact. Teaching this can serve as a quick fix. However, going to work on their self-confidence will have a greater long-term affect on keeping bullies away.

3.  Embrace Your Role
Children get their first layer of self-confidence from parents. The love you show your child and the time you spend with them gives them their feelings of self-worth. It has been said that the number one role of parenting is to develop a self-confident individual.

4.  Speaking Up
Teach your child how to speak up clearly when they first meet someone. Teach them the importance of making eye-contact when they talk to you. Get them out of their comfort zone and have them explore new things. The more you have them confront fear and discomfort the more confident they will become.

The first few tips are meant to stop bullying before it starts. Now here’s what your child can do if the bully chooses them…

5.  Create A Boundary When Confronted By A Bully
The next layer of defense is to create a boundary. Children can protect themselves with an assertive body posture: Feet apart a little, one foot in front, shoulders square, chin up, eye contact, and most importantly, hands up as if making a “Stop” Gesture! We call this our self-defense stance. Its purpose is to communicate neutrality, awareness and, assertiveness. This stance is designed to get them out of trouble.

6.  Using Words Properly
Finally, your child will have to use their words. Simple phrases and commands said in an assertive voice will tell the bully that they will not be a victim. Simple commands like; “Stop, Back Off, Back Away!” Said in the right tone will stop the bully in his tracks!

7.  Safe Self-Defense
Of course if none of the above works (and the truth is nothing works every time) then your child will have to defend themselves. But only if and when their safety is threatened.

8.  Defeating the Cyber-Bully
Don’t Give Cyber-Bullies Ammunition
Text messaging and social network sites open up a whole new avenue for bullies. Sit down with your child and be sure they understand not to give the bullies any ammunition. Make them aware the minute they text someone or send an email those words can be taken out of context or used against them. Absolutely under no circumstances should your child ever send inappropriate photos of themselves or allow anyone else to take photos that go against good judgment.

Cyber-bullying can be stopped with confidence and respect just like physical bullying.

As you can see dealing with a bully has its challenges. There is no one way that works every time. However, when your child develops high levels of self-esteem and self-confidence a bully’s words or actions will role off them like water off a duck’s back.

For additional resources to assist with dealing with bullying, our Sunshine Coast Karate team recommend the following website.

Bullying.  No Way!

http://www.bullyingnoway.com.au

An Australian website promoting safe and supportive school environments.

If you have any resources which cover this topic please leave a comment to share bullying resources with other readers.

We all think in pictures. Many times what we see in our mind translates to what we end up with in reality. The great challenge lies in being ale to control what kind of pictures play in the theater of our mind!

What kind of thoughts do you habitually think? What kind of thoughts does your child habitually think? Although we would like to believe our thoughts are of success, accomplishment, and a bright future, they may not always be. If we took an inventory of our thoughts we might discover from this audit that we dwell on past failures, present problems, and future anxiety too much. No matter how good you or your child’s current situation we can all benefit from tighter control of our own thoughts.

Why is this so important? Because many of the psychological breakthroughs of the last century had to do with the fact that “we become what we think about most of the time.” Just that one sentence should awake you to how important this topic is to you and your child’s future success. This is mainly due to the power of the subconscious mind which processes every thought and experience we have. The subconscious actually
doesn’t know the difference between a real event and one that is vividly imagined. I encourage you to do your own research on the subconscious.

Your assignment is to catch yourself thinking thoughts of fear and failure and then quickly change them to positive successful thoughts. Just being aware of your thoughts and this fact will have a huge impact on your success. The challenge is to control thoughts of past failures, present and future problems. The goal… To replace those thoughts with thoughts of success and victory.

The best way to help teach your child to control his/her thoughts is with a fun concept called visualization. Positive visualization or mental rehearsal, as it’s sometimes referred to, is practiced by top performing men and women in all kinds of situations. Athletes, entertainers, public speakers are just a few of the professions where the champions rely heavily on this discipline. We have a theater in our mind and it’s open 24 hours a day! Positive visualization is how we make sure that good movies are playing. So how can this
help you and your child?

We’re going to pick this up next time. But in the mean time please take a few minutes and think a little harder about controlling your thoughts! Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want! Focus on success, Not Failure. This is the greatest discovery in the field of personal achievement. If you can begin to master this concept you’ll be on your way to great success!

At Sunshine Coast Karate we are fortunate to be able to learn and share the study of Chito-Ryu Karate.  This short segment takes a brief look at the karate style of “Chito-Ryu” to help members of our sunshine coast community gain more of an understanding of the system which underlies our training practice at Sunshine Coast Karate.

Not all martial arts are the same! Chito-Ryu™ is a traditional form of Karate with an international headquarters in Japan. The founder Dr Chitose (1898 – 1984) was a medical doctor that studied at the prestigious Tokyo University. Dr Chitose came from a renowned martial arts family and was instructed by the most famous names in the Karate world at that time. In 1946 Dr Chitose developed the style based on his lifetime of Karate training and his knowledge of physiology.

Chito-Ryu™ retains the devastating self defence techniques of the fighting tradition and yet is particularly beneficial for ones health. Through the training of Chito-Ryu™ one can build an indomitable spirit and a strong body and mind. The benefits gained through training are advantageous for all areas of life.

Karate / Martial Arts training can be the most exhilarating life changing pursuit one undertakes. On the other hand students of less authentic schools can put their heart and soul into Karate training only to discover a few years down the track (usually after meeting an instructor of some quality) that they have spent time and money learning a hollow art void of substance.

Unfortunately the Karate / Martial Arts industry is not regulated. Whilst certain instructors may gain high coaching accreditation through TAFE courses that does not mean they know anything about Karate. We live in a fast pace society where all things have to be instant and whilst the benefits of Karate training can be visible quickly, 6 months of training (no matter how intense) will NEVER make one a black belt or an instructor. Remember any member of the public can walk into a martial arts store and buy any colour belt they like including black.

Chito-Ryu™ is an authentic form of Karate-Do with a clear lineage and roots that trace back hundreds of years. All Chito-Ryu™ instructors are highly qualified and internationally accredited.

Sunshine Coast Karate is affiliated with the International Chito-Ryu™ Karate-do Federation of Australia.

Health Benefits of Chito-Ryu™

Areas of benefit are;

• Weight Control
• Concentration & Focus
• Confidence & Self Discipline
• General Health & Fitness
• Flexibility & Coordination
• Self Defence Ability
• Increased Muscle Strength & Bone Density

Children will gain an excellent foundation for all physical activity.

To learn more about our programs at Sunshine Coast Karate please feel free to visit our page sharing ‘General Program Information’.

We also welcome you and your family to enjoy a free trial at Sunshine Coast Karate at a time that best suits you.  Book In For A Free Trial Today > >

The Ability and Know-How To Set and Achieve Powerful Goals

Teaching your child how to set goals will be fun for the whole family! In fact after you help your child set their goals you can begin clearly setting your own, which will have a huge impact on you reaching them faster.

Here’s how to start… First, Define a Goal. I like to use this definition; a goal is a planned destination, a desired result. Or in kids’ language, something that you want.  Goals help us  stay on track, they give us reasons to do our very best.  Once your child understands what goals are, they can begin to set goals in three areas; Academic, maturity, and athletic.

It’s effective for a child to set yearly goals and review them each month to measure how far they’ve come.  What if they don’t reach their goal?  Extend the deadline, that’s all.

Let’s get back to setting them.. On a clean sheet of paper have your child write the three categories at the top.  Then under each category they will write as many goals as they can think of.  Here’s one example “I completed the fourth grade with great results, October 2009.” This would be an example of an academic goal.  Notice that we put the goal in the first person, present tense, and we state the goal as if it were already complete.  It’s very important that you follow this procedure, by doing so your child’s goal will become part of their subconscious mind.  Make sure your child re-writes their goals monthly.  You can begin your own list of goals and review them monthly as well.

By having your child do this exercise each month you will be doing them a huge favour!  It will take discipline on your part, but if you can follow through and stay with it you will give your child an edge.

Now… you have established some key basics of goal setting to help your children, let’s make sure that you have taken the time to focus on you. I challenge you to consider the life that you would very much like to enjoy.  Go through this simple goal setting procedure with your children but focus on you.  Show them that you too have goals, you have a direction, you have a purpose.  Show them in your actions how you move closer to your goal.  When you find yourself off track, show your children how you quickly refocus and continue to move forward.  Whether you like it or not you are one of the biggest people and influences in your life and if you are wanting to teach your kids valuable life skills they will learn best by modelling your every move.

Review your goals with your family.  Share the journey, inspire each other and have fun. and appreciate the journey . There will be days when you will need to coach each other through some tough times and test your ability to persevere no matter what.  Sometimes you will need patience, sometimes you will need to take time enjoy/celebrate the journey and other times you are just going to need to put runs on the board.  If what you truly desire is in line with your highest values you will find a way  to  reach your destination, you will attract the people you need and you will contribute greatly to others around you by sharing that journey.  You will inspire others to take control of their lives.

In our Martial-Arts program we use Black Belt as a long term goal that each child will set for themselves.  By setting this goal children learn the importance of tenacity and follow through in any activity.  I want to leave you with our “Black belt success Cycle’. Know what you want, have a plan and a success coach, take consistent action, review your progress and renew your goals.

If you require further support in relation to goal setting please feel free to contact our team at Sunshine Coast Karate. We will take the time to sit with you and guide you through a short process to get you started.

Self Discipline For Kids

Have Fun, Create Life Long Habits And Unite The Family

When teaching children self-discipline it is important to have fun and keep in mind that the idea is to establish routines that are followed for the entire week without deviation or distraction. And it is even more powerful when we as parents lead the way and be great role models of leading a disciplined life.

We want our children to pick up after themselves, to clean their rooms without being told, to study and do their homework on their own, and to be responsible for their extra curricular programs as well. We demand a whole lot from them! What do we demand of ourselves? What is most important for us to do in our day to ensure we lead a fulfilling life each and every day? Did we do those things today?

Taking the time to grow these life skills in our children is a great start. Having the courage to put our lives as parents under the microscope to review our level of self discipline is a powerful next step. Growing these life skills as a family, taking the time to talk about it and check in with each other unites families and transforms lives. Sharing these skills with our extended family, friends and associates grows a greater community for us all to enjoy together.

There are two kinds of discipline; Parent discipline- We constantly tell our children what they need to do! And Self-discipline- They take care of certain things without reminders from us! Sometimes just understanding this simple concept can point them in the right direction!

List all of their responsibilities that have to do with, school, home, extra curricular, and leisure time.  Have a discussion about all their responsibilities in those areas and share with them what your responsibilities are so they can learn more about how you apply self-discipline to your life. You’ll be amazed how much can be learned by them as children and you as parents.  Then, with their input, teach them how to prioritise. In other words make sure they know that homework and studying are more important than chores.  Remember the self-disciplined person does the more important goal-oriented activity first.

When your child understands what’s important by the goals you’ve set it will be easy to establish a comfortable routine for everyone to follow.  Your routine should include all the activities on your list. The more regimented you child becomes and the more you and him plan time for every responsibility in order of importance the more discipline he will have.  Just remember to stick to a fun routine so it becomes habit and therefore causes your child to want to be self-disciplined. And most importantly be sure to plan time for some family adventures and allow yourself to connect with your children.

This month we are proud to share another fantastic ‘Raising Real Winners’ interview  to share with you.  You will meet and learn from Tom Patire.  He is one of the most recognized authorities on child safety, personal safety and security and family safety in this entire world.

He’s known as America’s leading safety expert and he’s the most publicized bodyguard in the world and he’s mainly a concerned parent as well and that’s why we brought him on and–you know Tom’s appeared on numerous television programs and networks, Fox, Rachel Ray, Montel, Colbert Report. Geraldo at Large, Good Morning America, The Morning Show, CNN and the list just goes on and on.

And one of his programs on child safety received an Emmy award nomination for educational programs.

To learn more about this months ‘Raising Real Winners’ Interview with Tom Patire on Family Safety please visit the following website to subscribe to our free monthly audio magazine compliments the team at Sunshine Coast Karate.

Subscribe to our Successful Parenting Audio Magazine Today > >

Be sure to also join us on Facebook so you can keep up to date with the latest news, events, articles and information being shared.   Sunshine Coast Karate On Facebook > >

Here is an excerpt of an article I thought that many of you would enjoy.

Read the entire article at fightingmaster.com By Richard Hackworth, Ph.D., Lac.

Positive Body Changes

After about three weeks of true martial arts training, a wide range of physiological changes take place. Practitioners will exhibit improvements in blood sugar, blood pressures, blood lipids, brain neurotransmitter balance, blood supply to muscles, and capacity of somatic muscles and the liver to store carbohydrate in the form of glycogen, calcium metabolism and other basic parameters. The changes are not mutually exclusive; interactions among systems and their functions are the rule.

These changes translate into better functioning of the body and brain, and overall risk reduction for such diseases as hypertension, type 2 diabetes, coronary heart disease, chronic respiratory disease, osteoporosis, obesity, anxiety states, mild to moderate mental depression, chronic fatigue, and breast and colon cancers. An increase in breathing exercises and forms training helped me recover from type 2 diabetes and I am no longer insulin dependent because of it.

The Brain and Nervous System

Martial arts training brings about remarkable changes in brain chemistry. The concentrations of various neurotransmitters that are responsible for facilitation or inhibition of nerve impulse transmission in the central nervous system — acetylcholine, norepinephrine, serotonin, dopamine, gamma amino butyric acid (GABA), glutamic acid, endorphins and others — are changed so that a new balance is attained. The clinical signs and symptoms that ensue are easier to record than the actual neurotransmitter levels, and many studies are in agreement on the emotional, behavioral and physiological changes that accompany martial arts training. A few recent investigations, however, have pinned down the neurochemical changes, as well. Eighty-nine year old Grand Master Yong Woo Lee, founder of JungDoKwan Taekwondo credits his years of martial arts training for his good health and mental sharpness at his age.

Among the early changes seen when individuals engage in a martial arts training program are mood elevation, heightened energy levels, enhanced self-confidence and self-esteem, lower anxiety levels, resistance to depression and improved coping ability. Changes in blood pressure and heart rate, which are, to a large extent, mediated by the central nervous system, occur soon afterward. Heart rate is slowed, and hypertensive blood pressure (systolic and diastolic) is reduced toward normal. Hapkido Grand Master Gary Pointer says: “Martial arts training keeps me going strong with a smile on my face! It is the ultimate mental and physical health program.”

These physiological changes are a function of the rebalancing of the sympathetic (fight and flight) and parasympathetic (rest and repair) halves of the autonomic nervous system. Studies by the Inchon Sports College of Korea have found increased parasympathetic tone in martial arts trained subjects, and ascribe the slowing of heart rate and reduction in blood pressure to this increased tone. Others have recorded lower plasma catecholamine levels associated with lower blood pressure following martial arts training. Resting heart rate is largely controlled by the parasympathetic fibers of the tenth cranial nerve (vagus) to the heart’s pacemaker (SA node). But blood pressure is much more complex, and more body chemistry, especially hormonal chemistry, is involved. The bottom line is that martial arts training reduces hypertensive blood pressure, and that the response is distance/intensity-graded.

Returning to the neurotransmitter connections with training, higher levels of serotonin and dopamine have been recorded following intense martial arts training. These would account for the mood elevation and antidepressant effects equal to those of regular aerobic exercise. Keep in mind that changes in GABA, endorphins and other neurotransmitters may well contribute to these psychological effects. There have been improvements in the physical capabilities of Parkinson’s disease patients following six to eight weeks of martial arts training. (Dopamine levels are commonly low in people with Parkinson’s disease.) In one patient, a 69-year-old Korean female, Soo Yong Kim of Shi-Hung City, anti-Parkinson medication was discontinued after martial arts training greatly improved her aerobic capacity while training at the JaeIl JaeYook Kwan school owned by ChungDoKwan Grand Master Jong Song Kim.

Also related to dopamine changes, some cigarette smokers can quit with few, if any, signs and symptoms of withdrawal. Ordinarily, nicotine addiction is difficult to break because high dopamine levels drop precipitously upon smoking cessation. Rigorous martial arts training can greatly elevate dopamine levels, and cases of smokers who quit easily may be taken as initial evidence that optimal levels of martial arts training can prevent a drop in dopamine with smoking cessation.

Continuing in the realm of psychological effects, a number of cognitive improvements have been documented in older adults who train rigorously. These include quicker mental reaction time and improved fluid intelligence quotients. Incredibly, Jae Son Myung (101 years old) of Inchon, Korea credits his sharp mental focus and quick reaction ability to his 90 years of classical Yudo training. It has been proposed that such changes may be the result of improved acetylcholine levels. Acetylcholine is a universal nerve transmission chemical in both the brain and somatic nerves. If acetylcholine is responsible, martial arts exercise should also benefit Alzheimer’s disease, which exhibits chronic acetylcholine depletion.

At the base of the brain is the small pineal gland, which releases melatonin, a hormone that influences such widely diverse functions as sleep/wake cycles and immune system integrity. The production of melatonin, related chemically to serotonin, is upset when people travel across several time zones. A marked reduction in jet lag can be achieved when a martial artist’s training schedule is optimal for frequency, distance and intensity.

Read the entire article at fightingmaster.com By Richard Hackworth, Ph.D., Lac.